This morning we woke with heavy hearts. How can you say goodbye to your child? I guess we are getting ready to find out. I'm still not sure that I can handle this. No matter how much we have mentally prepared ourselves for this moment I don't think that you can ever be truly ready.
We packed our bags and checked out of our hotel because we would be leaving from the orphanage and heading to the airport to fly back to Moscow. Our hearts heavy and our stomachs in nots we headed out to meet Lena and Sasha. Once we got to the orphange I tried my best to be strong and not let Alex see how upset I was. Silent tears streamed down our faces. The sobbing would come later I'm sure of it. Lena sensed how upset I was and even offered to let me bunk with her and her husband until our court date. You don't know how close I was to taking her up on that offer. We had just about broken the bank with the adoption and I knew that for Alex I had to go home and work until we could come back for him. We hugged him and kissed him and told him over and over again that we loved him and would be back soon to bring him home with us. He just smiled as if to say I'll see you tomorrow. Not knowing how long it would be until we were reunited.
The drive to the airport was almost an hour and we rode in silence. Lena tried to teach me more Russian with the childrens book she had bought for me. My heart just wasn't in it. Tomorrow we would be flying back to the US to wait for "the call" with a court date. There is a lot to do at home and a baby shower to be had. Plenty of stuff to help pass the time but it didn't make it any easier. Once we arrived at the airport we said good bye and thank you's to Lena and Sasha for their wonderful hospitality and that we would see them again soon.
I cried all the way back to Moscow and when Vladimir picked us up at the airport he took us to the hotel and we checkedin for our 1 night stay. He would be back to pick us up early early in the morning for our flight home. Michael still being the strong one did his best to hold himself together but you could tell inside his heart was breaking.
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
June 2, 2004 Alex
It's getting harder now because we know that the day after tomorrow we are going to have to leave Alex here and fly home to wait for our court date. Everyday we come to visit and he just smiles and reaches for us. We still can't believe that you could fall so hard and so fast. I don't know that I'm going to be able to leave him here. Michael is trying to be strong for me but he's feeling it too. We are just enjoying every precious minute that we have with him and trying our best to leave him knowing that we love him with all of our heart and that we'll be back soon to bring him home with us. He's to little to understand and right now he just sees us as fun people who come and play with him everyday. I wonder if he'll miss us?
The workers let me feed him today which was quite the experience. When you walk into the orpanage it smells like a school lunchroom. Which is odd since all of the children here are under 2 years old. Alex's meal consisted of boiled potatoes and shredded meat of some sort in a broth. He was fed with a table spoon. Yes you read that right. A table spoon. They would put a hand on his forehead and tilt his head back so that the food just slid down. When I tried of course I was giving him smaller bites and I wasn't doing it fast enough to suit the workers so they "fired" me. LOL They fed him and got the meal over with in record time. The little bitty babies were fed from glass milk bottles with nipples on them that had the tips cut with large openings so the stuff in them came out as fas as possible. I say stuff because I can assure you it wasn't milk.
After his lunch it was naptime and they sent us away until later in the afternoon. It's getting harder and harder to enjoy the siteseeing since we know that with each passing hour we are getting closer to having to leave. We are trying our best to make the best of our time because when we come back for the finalization it will be all "business". No time for much else and I don't anticipate us coming back for a vacation once we take Alex away from here.
Tomorrow will be the last day that we get to see him before flying back to Moscow and we'll only get to see him in the morning since our flight leaves out at 1:00. My heart is breaking...................
The workers let me feed him today which was quite the experience. When you walk into the orpanage it smells like a school lunchroom. Which is odd since all of the children here are under 2 years old. Alex's meal consisted of boiled potatoes and shredded meat of some sort in a broth. He was fed with a table spoon. Yes you read that right. A table spoon. They would put a hand on his forehead and tilt his head back so that the food just slid down. When I tried of course I was giving him smaller bites and I wasn't doing it fast enough to suit the workers so they "fired" me. LOL They fed him and got the meal over with in record time. The little bitty babies were fed from glass milk bottles with nipples on them that had the tips cut with large openings so the stuff in them came out as fas as possible. I say stuff because I can assure you it wasn't milk.
After his lunch it was naptime and they sent us away until later in the afternoon. It's getting harder and harder to enjoy the siteseeing since we know that with each passing hour we are getting closer to having to leave. We are trying our best to make the best of our time because when we come back for the finalization it will be all "business". No time for much else and I don't anticipate us coming back for a vacation once we take Alex away from here.
Tomorrow will be the last day that we get to see him before flying back to Moscow and we'll only get to see him in the morning since our flight leaves out at 1:00. My heart is breaking...................
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