The worst news you can get. 4/15/04

I don't even know how to begin with today. Mom came over after work and we were looking at some bedding that Michael and I found for the crib. It's Blue Jean Teddy, very cute. The phone rang and it was G.W looking for Mom. Something was wrong with Granny. Apparantly she had fell and they were calling the ambulance, she wasn't breathing. I think we were in shock. We picked up Aimee on our way out of the driveway. We just rode along in silence. No one wanting to think the worst. It's unimaginable. Dad called on the cell phone, he was there at the house, it just wasn't clicking with us that they couldn't revive her. We drove to the house and Dad told us to go on to the hospital. Still not clicking that she was gone. We all just sat quietly crying. When we got to the hospital Martha and G.W. were there with Popal and Bryan and Jamie. Patsy and Debbie and Junior were there too. We all just sat in the waiting room. Knowing, but not believing. The doctor came out and ushered us into a family room. He told us the news that we all knew but were unwilling to believe. She was gone, more than likely from a massive heart attack. We just broke down. This can't be happening. Not Granny. We were all together Sunday at Easter. This just can't be happening. Not now.

We all just sat in the family area comforting one another and trying to understand why. My poor Popal was devastated. His whole life as he knew it.......gone in a flash. They had been together for more than half of their lives. Michael and I have only been together for 7 years, but I can't imagine life without him. I just can't imagine what my Popal is feeling right now. Mom and Martha are beside themselves with grief. I can't even begin to imagine what's it would be like to loose your Mother. I'm absolutely devastated over this.

Later we had to go by the house and start making preparations for going to the funeral h0me tomorrow. We wanted to make a picture board, so we got out lots of family pictures and talked about what a great woman Granny was and how much we all loved her and how deeply she was going to be missed. Popal seems to be in a fog. I can understand why. I've never seen my Popal cry and it's not an easy thing to see. Granny was his life and he was hers.

I've got an appointment tomorrow in Frankfort to have all of the papers apostilled. I wanted to cancel until after the funeral but Mom and Martha are making me go. They said that's what Granny would have wanted. So I've called Charlotte to go with me in the morning. I just don't want to go alone. She redily agreed. So tomorrow, as hard as it's going to be, I'm off to finish the last phase of the dossier process. Then I have to meet Mom and Martha at the funeral home to decide on arrangments.

This has been the hardest day of my life.........................